FPS Rantings

Halo 3 gives “sucking” a new meaning

by Mike on September 27th, 2007

If you think this entry is about my dislike for the Halo franchise, you’re wrong. In fact, the latest installment may have changed my mind about the series, but I digress. This post is about one of the most outlandish Halo 3-related news I’ve ever encountered. Yes, it’s almost as strange as Master Chief getting it on with your girlfriend.

A new auction is set up in eBay for the new Halo 3 inhaler—you know, the medical device you erm, suck when you have asthma or COPD. Check the atrocious description after the jump.

Like the Flood surprising you from behind, your asthma attacks can sneak up on you swiftly. Now you can proudly display your Breathing Atmosphere Regulator on the table in front of your friends with this customized Halo inhaler. Imagine the lack of air you will feel in your lungs trying to finish the first level when you realize a shot from your albutorol - filled cannister will revive your chest pains and comfort your anxiety as you fondle this cylindrical savior.

Better than a PLASMA nade!
You may have your XBOX 360 Halo 3 Edition, the Elite edition of the game - perhaps even a can of Halo Dew……, but you are not ready to finish the fight unless you can breath!

Is that a M90 Mk.1 shell in your pocket?
“NO! it’s my Halo 3 Inhaler!”

At work or at school (if you do either), be the envy of all heavy breathers and watch their faces as you slip out your Halo 3 inhaler, positioning it with authority as you take aim at you lips…slowly squeezing down the cannister until hear that sweet “puff” that sounds like sniping an Elite from 500 yards.

Is any of the paint used on this from China?
“NO! it was synthesized on board Pillar of Autumn”

Egad, they can’t even spell “albuterol” or “canister” correctly.

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POSTED IN: Misc, teh funny